Reckless

2 Corinthians 9:7-9

 God loves it when the giver delights in the giving.God can pour on the blessings in astonishing ways so that you're ready for anything and everything, more than just ready to do what needs to be done. As one psalmist puts it, "He throws caution to the winds, giving to the needy in reckless abandon." 

I first discovered this verse while reading the book, "Reckless Faith" by Beth Guckenberger.  It seems so care-free.  To me it seems so easy to say and read, but when it comes to acting recklessly-now that's different.  Reckless people loose their money, their homes, their jobs, their relationships, their 401K.............

The list never ends.  I have been impacted and changed from the recent mission trip and I feel like living recklessly.  Don't get me wrong.  The bible states that recklessness under evil is very bad, but I am talking about living recklessly under God.  Living recklessly is praying and doing.  Even when there is not a plan and I have no idea where God is leading me.  I feel like to have a reckless faith is to be blindfolded with my hands tied behind my back.  At the same time, I am walking along the edge of a cliff.  All the while, God is behind, beside,and in front of me leading me.  

I have been prodded to do something more to help Back2Back ministries in the way of trying to raise money to help the orphanages with their needs.  I have never raised anything and I don't know where to go.  I am wanting to talk to my church leadership to see if I can speak or do something to try to raise money church-wide for the ministry.  Now to me this seems reckless.  I feel like I am going to get a definite "no" and might even get a crazy look from those I talk to.  I also think, "what if no one gives."  But I can't let this stop me or become a stumbling block.  It is not what I can do, but what God is doing.  Maybe this idea is a good lesson and trial to live more recklessly.  Either way, I am praying and I will take a step with my eyes closed, knowing that God is going to lead.

Faith and Fish

While reading the story of the feeding of the five thousand in Matthew 14, I was nudged by the lesson on faith.  As the people were gathering and it came time for people to eat, the disciples petitioned to Jesus to let the people go home so that they can get food. Jesus tells them, "They do not need to go away.  You give them something to eat."  The disciples replied, "We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish."  So Jesus told them, "Bring them here to me."

The rest is history I guess.

 Jesus knew that if the disciples had faith in him, they could feed the five thousand without Jesus having to do it directly.  I guess it would have made for a simpler story if when Jesus had told them to feed the crowd, had they turned around and started handing out the food, having faith that God would provide.  Maybe the story would have ended the same, with baskets and baskets of leftover food.  I also find it funny how even though the disciples did not have faith to feed the people, Jesus was determined to feed them anyways.

How many times has God told me to do something, or "You give them something to eat," for me to only reply that "I only have some bread and fish." It might seem impossible at the time, but instead of giving excuses, I should have faith in God, turn, and Go.  At the same time, the story shows that God does not need me or anyone else for his plan.  If I miss the opportunity, he will do it himself.  The thing is, I don't want to miss the opportunity.  Father, increase my faith and trust so that when you call I can turn and go.  I don't want to miss an opportunity to be a part of your grand plan and miracles-Amen.

Talking with God

Prayer.  I still feel stuck on it.  While reading Psalms 145, I was struck by the praise of God.  I feel like over the past week God has taken my "prayers" and completely flipped them around.  At first it was the issue of time and sincerity I put into my prayers.  Then it was prayers of thanksgiving.  Now it is praise.  As I read through Psalms and specifically Psalms 145, I am struck by the amount of time David spent on praise.  Words like supreme, almighty, exalt, extol, mighty, and glorious are just a small fraction of the words used.  I don't know why I never thought about the amount of my prayer time that needs to be praising the one that gives me my life.  It seems so simple and commonsense.  I guess I have always thought that the praise we give God is delivered during praise and worship in church.  How soon do I forget that for all of eternity, all people and beings in Heaven have been and will be praising God.  When I die, I will be singing my praises and glory to God in Heaven, and I would not have it any other way.  

God has been telling me this week that when I am wanting and looking for his plan in my life, I need to turn to him.  But when I turn to him, it doesn't need to be in the me, me, me sense.  God is there to provide me and my family, everyone, with everything that they need.  This is his pure joy to do this.  However, me turning to God only in the times of trouble, or only in the times of good, or only when I am wanting to know something, is not healthy or the way God meant for the relationship to be.  My relationship with God is no different that the love languages that are necessary for a successful relationship with my wife.  God wants me to thank him, and God wants me to ask him for things in my life.  However, God also wants me to give him glory, or his "words of affirmation" he is due.  It is only with all of these pieces that I can have a complete relationship with my father.  It's not that I think that God won't answer my prayers if I am not doing all of these things, but I think that I am able to discern more clearly what God is speaking to me.  

In Galatians 1:17, Paul talks about his calling by God after his revelation.  Paul talks about after hearing God's calling, he "did not consult with any man," he just went.  I want this same trust and relationship with God that I can hear his voice and immediately go.  I feel like I have so far to go. Why is it that in the Bible, people seemed to just pack up and leave when they hear God, but now it seems like people have to get their life in order, speak to a deacon, work for a while longer, and pray about the calling?  I am hoping and praying that by changing my prayer time and relationship with God to one that is more complete, I will be able to have his faith and trust in God.

Father, forgive me for how I have made our relationship, but thank you for helping to direct me back onto the right track.  I pray for clarity in our lives, and the ability to hear and completely trust in you-Amen

Prayer and the furnace

Prayer has been very hard for me.  I feel like I always am asking for more, more, more....instead of saying thanks.  Over the past few weeks and even months, I have been trying to change my way of praying.  I am finding myself talking to God throughout the day, in both the good times and bad.  My devotion today talks about prayer.  Prayer is my time with God.  It brings me close to him and builds a foundation to stand on when times become very rough.  Colossians 4:2 says, "Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful."  Where is asking in there?  It's not that I don't think that we should not ask God for things, but it states to be watchful and thankful.  When I communicate with God and I am thankful in my prayers, I have the trust in my Father that he will provide in my times of need.  It can be easy to forget sometimes that God already knows all of our needs.

This brings me to the story of the fiery furnace.  We all know about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego and how they would not bow down to the gold idol of Nebuchadnezzar.  When they would not bow down, they were thrown into the fiery furnace and were saved from burning by God.  I feel like I have read this story a thousand times.  However, when I stumbled across it again a few days ago, I felt God showing me a completely different point. Daniel 3:17 says, "If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and he will rescue us from your hand, O King.  But if he does not, we want you to know, O King, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up."  I feel like these men had complete trust in God.  I have always thought about them having complete faith that God would save them from the furnace.  It was the last time that I was reading this that I saw the phrase, "But if he does not..."  Is this a lack of faith or trust in God?  I don't think it is.  These men had a intimate relationship with God, where they knew that God was the ultimate provider.  God is fully capable of delivering me from my "fiery furnaces" of life.  But what if he doesn't?  I know that if God does not lead me through the furnaces in my life like I expect him to, he still has a plan and will take care of me.  God's plan for me and my life extends beyond what I am capable of seeing.  It is in the time of the fiery furnace that I tell God that he is capable of delivering me from the fire, but if he does not, my trust is still in him.  This trust can only be achieved by communicating with God daily and thanking him for what he has provided. Father, please help me to pray with a heart of thanksgiving.  I know that you have always provided and always will.  My trust is in you and I yearn to hear your voice-Amen.

Day 1

Looking for the orphans....

It sounds weird to write it out, but I think I will stick to this better than journaling.  My name is Alan and I am a follower of Jesus Christ.  I know this blog might be read by some, but I am doing it as if no one is going to read it...but God.  This is my writings, thoughts, and prayers to God.  So anyways, my wife and I just returned from Mexico on a mission trip working with none other than orphans in Monterrey, Mexico.  It was a very, very powerful trip.  I have had the thoughts and desires to help orphans for a long time, but have never really voiced that desire.  I also feel like God has been whispering his desires for me and my family in my ear over the past few months.  Tonight I am just exhausted.  I left Monterrey with a feeling of satisfaction and a peace that God is working in our lives.  I have a renewed desire to spend time with God and read the bible, a desire to pray continually, and a yearning to write stuff.  I guess it's my way of processing.  "Look for the orphans in my life."  This has been my secret motto over the past few months.  The slogan came to be when I heard my pastor use it during his sermon.  I don't think it had anything to do with his sermon, or that he even said it exactly like that, but I do feel like it was a nudge by God to get my attention.  This has stuck with me and I see it everywhere, from randomly popping into my head during the day, to every time I open the Bible it is about the care for orphans.  Like tonight.  I prayed to God feeling that he was trying to tell me something, but not knowing what he wanted me to hear.  I completed a small devotional and picked up my Bible to read, praying for God to tell me where to go.  James was the book that came to mind, so I opened it up.  The first section was James 1:19-27-Listening and Doing. Verse 27 says, "Religion that our father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."  Thank you Father for continuing to speak to me.

The thing that I continue to pray for is to continue to rely on God and HIS plan.  I don't know what God has in store for my wife and I.  Are we going to serve here in the United States, or is he calling us to long term missionary work?  Either way, I must keep my eyes on his and trust in him completely.  I am praying every night for my eyes, ears, and heart to stay open for God.  I am praying for Michele, Jennifer, Luis, Javier, and Pancho.  All of these are kids that I interacted with over the past week.  It's funny how you are the one that is supposed to be helping them, but it feels like they end up showing me more.  A whole lot more.  Maybe when I can process it some more, I will reflect on some of the stories.  Thank you God for using my life.  Don't let the ME get in front of what you have in store.....Amen.